I would like to take this moment and thank all my friends out there. Without trying to sound like a speech from the Oscars. Which I did not by-the-way watch last night. I maybe would have if I had seen any of the movies nominated. I’m pretty sure since I’ve had kids I have not watched one full movie start to finish without distractions and before 9pm in a very long time. If I do happen to sit down to a movie past bedtime than usually my eyes start to close and I miss the end anyhow. So today is NOT about the Oscars but more about my friends.
My friends have become like family to me. My parents just moved about as far away from me as possible, across the country, and my husband’s parents live in various places in the Vancouver/Victoria region. I am a single child, my husband has one brother who is 11 years younger and is just graduating from High School this year. My husband has very few cousins, several of them much younger and all my cousins live at least a 3 day drive away. In conclusion we have very little family support raising our babies, except on holidays or special occasions (such as the birth of a new baby). Thank goodness for my friends.
Most of my friends here are in very similar situations or share a few of the same predicaments: one or more children, live far away from the family, husband’s that work crazy hours in the oil patch and are stay-at-home moms. In a funny way it works for us. We have a main group of friends that we hang out with on a regular basis, we then also have friends that are very close but we hang out with separately. I think through our trials and tribulations we have formed some very tight knit connections.
We are currently going through, what I consider to be, the worst part of the winter. We’ve already been through about 3-4 months of snow and cold weather, our husbands are usually sent to camp this time of year for a month or more and winter blues have become a constant companion. Usually this is the time of year I start to lose my mind a little and start demanding things from my spouse such as “I want to move,” and “you should come home now.” This year however has been way different and I attest it to all my friends and my kids.
I mean don’t get me wrong of course I would still love to live somewhere warmer and have dreams of living near my parents on their lakefront property but I have never felt as at ease and part of a community as I have these past two years. It’s funny too because when we all get together with our kids in a big group the # of children to parent ratio is usually over 2:1, sometimes it makes for some pretty chaotic gatherings. It’s wonderful though. These are going to be some of the best times of our lives, the pitter-patter of little feet, the squealing laughter, the inevitable wake of toys taking over the living space. I used to think that this was going to be a time in my life to just “get through.” What I’m realizing now that this IS our life. I don’t want to just muddle through it in order to get to the next stage, I want to enjoy it. I’ve also realized that in order to make it up here without losing my mind it’s really important I embrace my fortune at finding a wonderful surrogate family.
What I originally wanted to do is write a little piece about each of my friends and the reasons why I love them so much and what each person brings into my life. I however am not going to for a couple reasons. 1) I have too many close friends that I could say amazing things about. I would be writing until 4 am if I was to do that. 2) Maybe my friends don’t want to be mentioned in my blog. I haven’t asked most of my friends so I’m going to keep them out until I get some sort of permission.
I like to hope my closest friends know who they are. Without mentioning people specifically I just want them to know how important they are to me, my husband and my children. Without you guys I’d probably be the crazy mom trying desperately to find ways to keep my sanity, instead I find myself more rational and happy than I could ever imagine under the circumstances.
Now wasn’t that a speech suited for an Academy Award?
Oh all mushy and gushy, typical you!
ReplyDeleteIsn't it funny how we are living the same life, just twenty years apart? I had the same experience, no family, small kid, lots of other people in the same boat, hubby's working shift work at the mine. Maybe its just life?