Monday, February 14, 2011

I don't give a $h!t how talented your kids are, I still like mine better!

It starts from day one. You and your significant other (or possibly just yourself, I’m a very liberal thinking type blogger) announce to the world that you’re expecting a baby (I‘m sure even if you‘re adopting a baby). After the congratulations die down it seems that everyone you come across, let’s say in the grocery store, that are also expecting, begin with the cutthroat competition of who’s offspring is better. It usually starts out relatively passive-aggressive. There are the small comments such as “Wow, it’s been so hard for me to fall asleep at night because the baby starts kicking right before I go to bed, he/she is SOOOO strong.” To the untrained ear this just seems like a soon-to-be mom complaining of the many ailments that the “joy” of pregnancy brings with it. To the well-tuned ear it means, “My baby is so much stronger than yours…na na na booskie!!
I consider myself a fairly easy going person but I have to say now that I’ve been through the entire cycle of pregnancy and labouring twice in my life and produced two offspring of my own, things are starting to irk me more than they perhaps ever would have before. No matter who you are, what your kids are like, how much faster, smarter, stronger, whinier, brattier and different personalities there are in children you’re ALWAYS going to love your children best. It could be due to an evolutionary wonder gene, that promotes survival of our species that I like to call “If they weren’t so freaking cute they’d be out the window gene.” I’m getting a little tired of hearing about how perfect other people’s kids are, how they can already sing the ABC’s before they learn to walk, how they NEVER get into the cupboards or use their bum cream as paint on the walls, how their discipline tactics are faultless. I honestly believe that each child needs a different style of parenting to the next and each mom knows what the best thing is for her child.

I’d like to add briefly that under no circumstances am I a perfect mother. I do have the wonderful privilege to be a “stay-at-home-mom” and be with my children everyday and keep the battle of parenthood on my own turf. I used to be the type of person who poopooed the title “housewife” and looked down my nose on such things and believed myself to be above something so domestic sounding…boy was I ever wrong. Maybe it’s with age or wisdom or looking into the kids faces for the first time that really drove into me the feeling that something more amazing than I could ever imagine just happened here (that is however after the pain meds kicked in). I find myself on a daily basis screaming at the top of my lungs, trying to find bits in the day where I can sneak off for 20 minutes as they're both screaming for some reason or another to be alone so I don’t explode, using the TV to entertain my kid as I try to fold some laundry or even to check my Facebook. I sometimes feel completely lost and have no idea of what steps I’m going to take to try to get my child to listen better or how I can improve my temper when things go really awry. I also believe, as they saying goes “kids don’t come with a manual,” (well unless you totally believe everything in “What to Expect in the First Years,” or YAHOO Answers, etc), each kid is different and is going to come with their own set of “rules.” What may work with one kid doesn’t necessarily work with another.
Let’s take my kids for example. My firstborn (my daughter) is what I’d consider a fireball. She is the busiest, most inquisitive, stubborn, fierce, toughest kid I know, and trust me this isn’t bragging (more like a plea for help). If I begin by first off saying “no, do not touch” as she reaches for something I don’t want her to destroy, she thinks it’s a game and does absolutely everything in her power to touch it. If I then yell “NO, DO NOT TOUCH!” at her she laughs and it now has become even more of a priority (Defcon 1) that she lay her hands on said object. By the time I’ve put her in timeout, screamed at her and  finally put the object out of reach she’s found the next object that she's going to focus on that  will get her into trouble even faster. This kid, before her 1.5 year mark, broke her arm doing a belly flop off of the coffee table and about 20 seconds after getting home from the hospital was trying to climb on the same table, cast and all. Now on to  my second born (my son). He is currently only 4 months old. He is a very different personality already. There are times when I’m yelling at his sister for various shenanigans and if my tone of voice is somewhat menacing he gets very upset, his little baby lip will quiver and he begins to cry. Obviously each of these children is going to need completely different parenting tactics.
Which brings me back to my original point. Each kid is different, each kid comes with it’s own set of personality traits, with it’s own genetic code, with it’s own loveable features paired with pain-in-the-ass features. No matter though what those features are you as a parent are going to love that kid more than anyone else’s. So next time some mother tells me that her child is so much better because it got it’s PhD by the time it was 6years old or that they can actually leave the bathroom door open without their kid stuffing the entire roll of toilet paper into the toilet and then start eating the soggy mess they can kiss my butt. No matter how talented your kid is lady, I’ll still always like mine better!

1 comment:

  1. Well alright then, I don't care how much of a pain in the ass your kid is, I'm still always going to love MINE the best! So there.