Only a parent can fully understand the level of sacrifice
needed to bring babies from that innocent, vulnerable, defenseless, stage of a
human’s life to a stage where they can be somewhat self-sufficient (although I
think that stage seems to be quite prolonged now compared to the
not-too-distant past). This sacrifice
alone might actually be the one hardest aspects of the entire parenting processes. When you have a baby a person needs to be
prepared that their life will never, ever be quite the same as it was
before. Some people handle that aspect
like champs, some people completely lose control and once seemingly decent
people (or perhaps moderately seeming decent people) can turn into disasters
after bringing a child into this world.
I think whatever the situation a parent can honestly say that there are
several things they do now that they would have NEVER have done in the past.
Here are just a few examples of things that change:
Shopping. You
almost never find yourself shopping in a store that interests you because they
usually involve a million breakable items that you would be a fool to take your
kids near or tiny change rooms the stroller definitely won’t fit in. When you have to do most of your shopping with
the kids you find yourself waiting to go until you’re down to your last
cracker, egg, banana and in my house milk (pretty sure we should have gotten our
self a Jersey Cow to satisfy my son’s appetite). I was never a big shopper to begin with but I
definitely enjoyed it 10 times more before the kids learned that in big crowds
mom probably won’t punish us as harshly.
Traveling: I’ve
always loved to travel, see new sights and explore foreign customs. As soon as you have kids tagging along
traveling becomes more like a new brand of torture. We thought we got off lucky because my
daughter is a really good traveler. I
apparently should have stopped having kids after her if I wanted to continue with
the level of traveling that I’ve always dreamed of. My son is what people refer to as a “homebody.” We still attempt to take him with us,
although on a few trips we considered leaving him behind. It’s now become this crazy circus like
production for us to go anywhere, even if it’s just a weekend trip. You start to examine amenities such as
playgrounds, hotel swimming pools, kid friendly restaurants, stroller
accessible accommodations or flight options like a pro-sleuth before daring to
book anything. A place that you would
have once avoided like the plague has become the number one pick on your list. Once you’ve decided you’re going to leave it
takes two months of careful planning, packing, re-packing (because they’ve
outgrown the pants by two sizes already) and downright insanity to get out the
door. By the time you leave you have
your entire house contents somehow crammed into every nook and cranny of your
vehicle and you’ll definitely still have forgotten something vital (sometimes
one of the children). For some reason though
I never seem to learn. I have such a
draw to go and see the world that I fool myself into thinking this time it’s
going to be easier. I am about to
actually embark on my very first adults only trip since I’ve had the kids. I’m now scared of two things. One I’m going to miss the little buggers so
much I’ll be homesick for the first time in my life or two that I’m going to
enjoy myself so much that I’m going to disappear into the jungle to never be
found.
Adult time: I’m not sure how many parents reading
this will consent but adult time is starting to look like locking the door
while going to the bathroom (even if the kids are on the other side of the door
knocking and yelling for you), filling your car up with gas because you can’t
hear the kids in the car with all the doors shut, the blissful 10 minutes between
the time you put your kids to bed and when you go to sleep because you’re too
exhausted to stay up past 9:00pm and other such moments. When I have other people around that will
watch the kids for me I’m so grateful to be able to have a shower without
children underfoot or to be able to run to the store for supplies. Going out for a night of dinner and movies
with your partner is like a fantastical dream even then however you will find
yourself talking about the children all night.
I’m not sure that will ever change now.
There are also several small things that you find yourself
doing now that you are a parent but NEVER would have dreamed of doing before: Watching the absolute worst shows on TV
because it keeps your kid quiet for half an hour. Eating the leftovers your
children leave on their plate (doesn’t matter if they’ve spit it out because
they don’t like it). Going out of your
way to watch a parade (I hate parades, didn’t even like them as a kid, but my
kids unfortunately love them). Choosing to eat at a restaurant you don’t like
because it’s kid-friendly. Buying a
mini-van for your main family vehicle (hey they’re roomy and still decent on
fuel). I could probably go on forever.
On that note I have not had to yell at my kids to leave me
alone for the past 5 sentences. This makes me scared because when you do
actually get a moment to yourself and the kids are completely quiet in the
background you know that they are probably up to something that may require
bringing the pressure washer in to fix.
Depending on how much time and resources playgroups have, it can be as simple as bringing small items related to the theme or decorating the entire area
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