Could You Spell That For Me Please??

So I’ve hit that stage of parenthood where everything becomes spelled out loud if we don’t want the kids to know we’re talking about a certain subject.  There are a few problems I’m starting to notice arising from this way of talking.

How do you stop?  I mean really, I spell every ending to almost every sentence I speak now.  The kids might not even be in the same room and I’m spelling.  It’s like I’ve tripped some sort of wire in my brain that taps it into thinking I’ve got to hide everything I say from the kids.

This brings me into the next problem.  How do I spell that?  I used to be a fantastic speller, now I suck at it.  My mother and I actually just had this conversation and we are both finding this to be true.  Since the invention of spell check our spelling skills have dropped substantially.  In fact I have come to rely on it so much I’m starting to wish I had a spell check in my brain.  That way when I’m trying to spell the word, hmmm let’s see, toys.  I start by saying “T- um - O – Y- um - S.”  I mean really.  It’s not like I’m trying to spell onomatopoeia (and yes spell check on my computer thankfully corrected my original guess at this word).  It would be really awesome now if someone could come up with a real “babel fish” that not only translated other languages for us but would include that all important spell check feature.

Whenever I spell things to my hubby he always gives me a blank expression.  It’s not like he can’t spell, he’s actually really smart.  You see he often goes away for weeks at a time and hangs out with a bunch of adults, therefore no real need to spell stuff out.   He’s really not used to it and I always feel silly afterwards.

Another problem with spelling everything is that the kids are starting to pick up on some words.  I think the dog has even come to the conclusion that “W-A-L-K” means we should get all excited and run around.  I mean what the heck are we going to do when the kids can actually spell?  How would you and your partner or you and the grandparents ever going to communicate without the kids knowing what is being said? 

We could maybe start speaking other languages to each other.  I am currently brushing up on my Español in preparation for a trip my hubby and will be taking, without the kids, to the Caribbean in less than two weeks.  I guess that would be another useful purpose for installing the babel fish, we’ll just take up speaking Spanish to each other, although my daughter knows lots of that too (thanks Dora the Explorer). 

Well I guess it’s time to sign off.  A-D-I-O-S