Morning Nostalgia

So in three sleeps my daughter turns 4! I've been sort of having these moments of nostalgia and thinking how in four very seemingly short years how much of my life has changed. I am 32 years old and it feels like anything before the last four years barely existed.

What exactly was life like before kids? Was there really a period in my life that I got to go to the bathroom by myself? Was there really a time when I got to wake-up on my terms and do the things that I wanted to do? Was there any other time in my life that it ever felt this real?

I can honestly say that there are some seriously great memories in my life before my children came into this world. Not one moment in my life came even remotely close to the feeling I had, when the morphine finally wore off, and I realized I had my beautiful baby girl in my arms.

Insert really nasty C-section story here.

I have some regrets from the past 4 years. There are plenty of times I didn't handle being a parent as well as I could have. There were days where I planted my children in front of the TV so I could simply just ignore them for a while, times I yelled and screamed instead of showing them love, times that they got fed over an hour past our regular meal times with a meal of cheese, goldfish and a banana because I just couldn't for the life of me get up the energy to make dinner, times I locked myself into the bathroom for 10 minutes just for some peace and quiet (usually when I have an important phone call to make..."Is there an echo in there?) I somehow don't think I'm alone. With all these negative moments though there are tens of thousands of moments where it was done right.

I always believed that I would be such an amazing mom. I've always loved kids, their imaginations, and their ability to look at the positive in life no matter what the situation. I could relate to it. Once kids fell in my life (snort there was no falling...more like hours of pushing) I found that I was a much more selfish person than I originally thought. I found days where I was resenting the fact that I didn't have a moment to myself, where I could no longer get up in the morning and go for a run without a huge hassle, where I could go out to a restaurant and eat my meal without all the screaming, yelling and downright rottenness.

I was talking to my mom the other day. She said that she always felt the same way, that maybe she was too selfish and wasn't the best mom she could be. I'd have to say that my opinion is completely the opposite. I felt my mom was amazing, she was brilliant (always one step ahead of me), compassionate and loving, fun, involved and seemed to include me in everything. I think it's so hard to know what kind of impact you are making on your kids because you're so wrapped up in your own brain and expectations.

I could not imagine my life without my children and nor would I want to. No matter what kind of good days and bad days we have in the years to come I wholeheartedly believe they are going to be the best days of my life and it's all because my kids are in them. I'm going to try hard not to waste these moments because I know they aren't going to last forever. There is going to be a time soon in my life when I'm no longer the most important person to them in the world but they always will be to me!

Dating for 4?

Ok so the funk of February is GONE!  In its place is a manic like euphoria.  Maybe I’m just undiagnosed bipolar.  Regardless I’m happy to be on this side of the mood swing.  I’d have to say I can credit it a lot to a new friendship I feel developing.  I think I was a little lonlier than I was letting myself believe.

I had just met a woman that I swear I’m so excited about that it feels like I’m dating for the first time in years.  I hope if she reads this then she doesn’t think I’m hitting on her or a massive weirdo.  I have been out of the dating scene for over 10 years now so I’m not exactly sure but if I remember correctly I’m displaying all the signs.  Smiling more often, can’t stop talking about her to my parents, super excited to get together for visits and hope when my phone makes the sound indicating I have a text that it’s her.  Oh god I totally sound creepy desperate, I’m even writing about her in my blog. Well hopefully she would take this as a compliment instead of heading to the cop shop to take out a restraining order on me. 

It’s way more difficult to make friends as an adult, especially when you have two small kids and no employment.  Kids, especially the really small ones, are not exactly everyone’s cup of tea.  They are loud, messy and destructive.  You not only have to prove yourself a decent human being to potential new friends but try to ensure your kids don’t send them bolting for the hills before you get a chance to get to know each other.  It’s usually ideal if you find people that have some similar commonalities such as their own children and maybe even a cool husband that your own husband can be introduced to.  It’s almost like dating for your family, which maybe makes it much more complicated but if it works out can have some seriously amazing results.

Regardless, so far this new person in my life almost seems too good to be true.  We have a lot of similarities right down to what we drink, movies we like to watch, small people in our lives and general matching moral viewpoints.  I think what’s the best part of it all is that she seems as interested at making new friends as I am.  I know that I tend to come across too enthusiastic a lot of the time and can scare people off.   In this way it’s a lot like dating I guess.  When two people meet each other and have a desire to make a relationship work then it will.  We don’t have to be exactly alike but compatibility and chemistry play a big role.  

Spring is around the corner and it always feels like a fresh start.  I’m glad to see February behind me and look forward to what a new season will bring.

Sorting Out Parenting Issues

Wow the Responses

Let me give you a bit of background first. Yesterday my mom and I were having a conversation on the phone (which happens usually more than once a day, even if we just saw each other 2 hours previous).  We were talking about how kids don’t seem to appreciate their toys as much as we did when we were children. I am fortunate enough to have a room we keep designated especially just for toys. My kids are currently sharing a room (long story) and therefore the room we were going to designate to my daughter has now turned into the “playroom.” Now this playroom has EVERYTHING and I’m not exaggerating. It’s got a train table, a play kitchen (so yes it even has a kitchen sink), two beds, a doll house with tonnes of accessories, a book shelf, musical instruments, Legos, a matt on the floor with little roadways designed on, a dress-up clothing box, a huge tote for stuffed animals and a shelf that has bins full of other random assorted toys.

Any parent reading this will see the problem here. Too many freaking toys! There is so much going on in there that the kids don’t actually play with anything, they from what I can tell just dump every item on the floor in search of the next. The result is two bored children and one mad and tired mom. Mom is mad not only because the toys are not doing their job by entertaining the kids but also because it literally takes an hour to clean the room and only 20 seconds to destroy it.

So let’s go back to the conversation I was having with my mom. We were talking about how kids just have too much stuff, most of it crappy plastic and they have never known any different. My house looks like Toys R Us has barfed all over it since the day my first born came home.  There's no way a child would have any appreciation when they've never been lacking. Mom finally said something along the lines of “I wonder what would happen if you took all the toys away, every single one for an entire week? Do you think it would force them into appreciating their toys more?” Then we started to think logistically about what that would look like for a full week. How insane would I go by the end of that week? Would the children survive? Would I?
 

I decided to put this question out to my fellow friends on my Facebook page and see what they thought. Well who knew that it would create such a stir? It seemed everyone had an opinion on the matter, people with several kids, people with no kids, people who have older kids that are no longer in the house, young people, older people, people who have tried similar things and people who think you’re crazy for just suggesting such a “silly idea”. It was really interesting to see how differently people reacted and sometimes really strongly.

Really I don’t think there is one right answer. I mean is there really ever when it comes to parenting? Kids, like all humans, have such different personalities and value systems. The only real way to know would be to test it out and I’m thinking that we wouldn’t survive a day.

Instead I spent my afternoon sorting through ALL the toys and separating them into 4 different piles. Yes, you read that right, 4 piles. And these are not small piles; each pile is enough to fill a large tote. It's amazing how much stuff a 2 and almost 4 year old can accumulate. Now that it's all sorted and labeled in their own Rubbermaid bins I'll be able to rotate all their toys every couple of weeks to keep things seeming new and interesting. I know this concept isn't a new idea to the parenting world but it was the happiest medium I was willing to partake in. I think by downsizing the mass into smaller to handle portions they’ll find more time for each toy and instead and hopefully keep them from becoming crazy obsessed because I'm depriving them of their toys. Plus we can't forget that the real reason why I'm actually motivated to do this, I now won't have to spend countless hours cleaning the playroom anymore.

It;s probably NOT in my best interest to divulge how exactly I sorted these bins.  Let’s just say that my OCD kicked in and the bins are sorted into different themes. I can already see my hubby shaking his head at me like I'm a crazy lady. I can't really deny it either.

I think what I’ve really learned here is no one really knows what the hell we’re doing. Oh I’m sure there are experts that would tell me what I’m doing will be beneficial for their growth and development. Then I’m sure another would be telling me I’m well on my way to signing them up for A&E's Hoarders as I'm teaching them to hold on to their possessions harder so they don't disappear. It’s just bizarre that after how many years humans have been parenting children that no one really knows. If we don’t have a clue on how to raise children properly then what the heck do we have? Well I’m NOT putting this question out to the Facebook world because I’m not sure if I want to know the answer.

Mood Swings

Not only is Mother Nature in the middle of one of her mood swings but apparently so am I. Today can't feel more different than yesterday if it tried. It's like my brain is magically tuned into the fact that the end of February is here and it can go back to being a normal functioning organ (well maybe not so normal but at least functioning).  I wish the weather would get the memo too.

It was not only a productive day but it was really good for the psyche.  I had a lovely time going for a walk with one of the moms who also brings her daughter to the same preschool as my daughter.  I then managed to clean my house, prep supper for tomorrow and speak with one of my very close friends from BC who just had a beautiful baby boy.  To top it off this evening I had a great conversation, albeit a texting style conversation, with a really cool person I met a couple days ago.  I really feel after the few chats that we’ve had that this is someone that I feel might just pan out into a really great friendship.  To top it all off I also am 2 ½ weeks into not yelling at my children, not even once.

I spent some serious time this evening going through some of the posts in the Orange Rhino blog (http://theorangerhino.com/) from the other parents.  I signed up for a 30 day challenge that the inventor of this site has created.  It has been amazing so far.  I won’t go into much detail because the “challenge site” is in a secure setting and I don’t want to infringe on anyone’s privacy.  Recently we’ve been asked to identify triggers (of why a person would yell at their children) and I have been literally overwhelmed.  It’s incredibly enlightening reading other people’s stories and listening to their deep insights into why exactly this is a trigger for them.  This has done two really important things for me.  One it makes me feel that we are not alone in this parenthood endeavor.  Everyone in this challenge, save the person who introduced me to the site, is a complete stranger to me.  These strangers seem to be able to read my mind. It's so amazing that people who don't know anything about each other can feel exactly the same way. Two is the solutions people have offered to help with the issues that have been plaguing me since the moment my pee stick showed a positive symbol in the window.  It’s like someone has thrown me a life line and is teaching me how to tread water.

Today has been a great day.  I’m however looking at my clock and thinking that I’m WAY past my bed time.  I had planned to go to bed about 2 hours ago and instead I got sucked into computer land.  I know that one of my triggers (and 90% of the people who posted) is lack of sleep so I better get my butt into bed before my mood swings south tomorrow! 

March is on the Horizon

Well that time has arrived again.  My husband packed up his bags and is back off to work for his 4 week stint.  We have spent the last month doing some serious budgeting and financial problem solving as we have found ourselves over spending ourselves into a pickle.   It really feels good to get a solid handle on the issue and pay more attention.  However with the budget in place and the children on high destruction mode it’s making life feel a little restrictive.

I spent the last month in a bit of a funk.  I think there are several factors weighing in on my mind at the moment.  For one it’s February.  I despise this month.  The only redeeming quality to February is that it’s the shortest month of the year.  I’m not a huge Valentine’s Day celebrator and I think that Groundhog’s Day is a kid’s thing , I really don’t hold a lot of precedence over a weather predicting rodent.  It’s that awful last real kick at winter and often the coldest month.  Some of the other issues that have been bringing me down include being disappointed about our poor budget planning and instead of being ahead like we hoped by this point we managed to put ourselves behind.  This of course resulted in my husband having to go back to his old schedule of 4 weeks gone and 2 weeks at home to make extra money to bail us back out.  Now that the husband is gone for longer periods of time and home less I’ve been feeling like I’ve been lacking in some desperately needed adult interaction and it’s been a little slower than I anticipated making a friend or two in my new home area.  The last thing that has really been getting to me is how I feel about what kind of parent I’m turning out to be.

I’m a full believer of the idea that “a happy mommy makes for a happy family.”  I quite often feel as, probably like most women, that I am the glue that holds the family together and ensures the household runs smoothly.  Granted I’m super lucky that I have a husband who works very hard and sacrifices so much to support us and is an amazing father but I still feel the weight of the world on my shoulders, or at least the weight of the house and we have a pretty big house.  When I’m feeling blue or un-motivated I can really see how it affects my family and those around me.  Not only am I feeling like I don’t have any motivation to get out and participate in my usual overabundance of activities in the community but I also feel like I’m not living up to my potential as a stay at home mom.  I know that in my heart I’m not giving it my all and the kids are not getting the best out of me that they deserve.  I feel extremely absent in the day and each night when I go to bed I feel guilty for wasting this precious time in my kid’s lives and I resolve in the morning that I’m going to work harder at it, but morning comes and this cloud of gloom sets over my head and the cycle repeats.

Even through the funk I’ve been having, I have however been doing extremely well with my Orange Rhino challenge and it’s been over two weeks already and I have not yet yelled once at my children.  Don’t get me wrong I’ve come so close about 1000 times and there are moments when I’ve wanted nothing more than to scream and rant and rave but my challenge has kept me true.  I’ve noticed that by not yelling I’ve been forced into stopping and look at each situation individually instead of letting incidents build up.  It has also forced me into dealing with discrepancies right away instead of putting it off for a minute or two more which just seems to build up the stress level.  Just recently the author of Orange Rhino decided to run a 30 day challenge to help anyone interested in attempting to learn how to yell at their own children less.  I immediately signed on, even though I already started on my own two weeks ago and I want to do a full year, but I figured that because the start day she projected for this challenge was two days before my husband had to go back to work and I knew I’d need all the support I could get.  Today is Day 3 of that challenge. 

March is just around the corner and there is a bit of hope in my forecast.  The weather will get nicer and that always cheers me up.   I have also, in the most unexpected place, have made a possible new friend.  I’m 2 weeks and 2 days into a challenge that’s forcing me into better parenting.   Lastly my daughter turns 4 in two weeks.  I know that it’s not a magic number and that each stage has its challenges but 4 years old is a milestone in my mind.  I will no longer have two kids in that difficult “terrible twos and even worse threes” stage.  Hopefully it will also see an improvement in my blogging commitment as well.  One thing is for certain at least we can all agree that St. Patrick’s Day is WAY more fun than Valentine’s Day!

Have a good night!

 

Hibernation

I don't know what happened. Prior to the New Year I was all gung-ho on the ole blog writing bit. Then after the last of the ornaments and decorations were put away and the remainder of the post-Christmas haul was organized I was out of stuff to say. Anyone who knows me might laugh A LOT at this statement. I'm not normally a person who finds myself with nothing to say. Alas it's true. I've had no insights, no funny stories to mention. My brain I've decided is in Hibernation mode.  They might have been happening around me but I had no gumption to do anything about it or even bother to remember. Hopefully as the winter thaws outside so will the iced up regions of my brain.

Yesterday I was just getting the kids ready to go to bed. My daughter was in a mood where she was hell bent on pushing all my buttons. It's like children sometimes go into self-destruct mode and do everything humanly possible to make their parents upset. Last night was one of those nights, that coupled with my already less than chipper mood and not much sleep the night before was a perfect recipe for disaster. I had a bit of a meltdown on her and ended up putting her and her brother down to sleep 45 minutes earlier than I normally do...don't worry I punished myself as well and was down as soon as I finished my own night time routine.

After the meltdown and once I was lying in bed just settling in for the night, checking my Facebook for any new gossip and trying to turn my brain off I came across another blog off a friend's page. It is a blog called The Orange Rhino dedicated to setting the goal of NOT yelling at your children. This woman who just successfully completed a year of not yelling at her 4 very young boys for an entire 365 days! Well what perfect timing. As of recent the words of Buddha have been haunting my path "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear."

I have no idea how many times this phrase has crossed my mind in a month but everywhere I turn it seems to be relevant. I'm going to give it a shot anyhow. I originally thought that 365 days seemed a ridiculous goal to achieve.  But as today is my DAY ONE I have thought about it a lot throughout.  Why is a month any more difficult than a year?  I mean yes it’s a lot longer of a time frame but if I can manage to go 30 days without yelling then you can surely strive for a year.  Once you’ve hit a year you’d think your entire thought patterns will be changed by it and it becomes a regular part of life.

So along with a few other projects I’m interested in taking on this year I’m going to attempt to stop yelling at my kids.  I’m really happy the hubby comes home tomorrow and will at least be a sounding board for the next 2 weeks.  I think that having him home for support will be essential to get me started.

Well other than a massive snow storm, my daughter starting a dance class and me starting to turn into a vegetable nothing else is new.  It turns out my brain isn’t the only thing hibernating.  Usually winter is good for me and I’m more than motivated to get active.  I’ve got to drag myself out of the funk I’ve found myself in and do what I do best, find solutions.  I know it can be done, it’s really just about getting started. 

So here’s to another start, if you never try it will never happen.

Grateful I'm Not Living in the 30's

For the obvious reasons I'm so grateful I'm not currently living in the 30's. As if The Great Depression and the start of World War II were not enough, they also had really crappy viewing entertainment.

I'm currently on a really pointless escapade of watching all of the movies in history that ever won Best Picture of the Academy Awards. Not that I'm really into the Academy Awards or think that their first pick in movies are always the best of that year but it's something that I've always inexplicably wanted to do.  I’m always curious of the allusions that historical movies are mentioned in so much of the literature I read.  I may possibly go back and pick out some of the other nominations of each year and watch them one day as well but since they’ve started giving out Oscars since 1928 I already have over 80 movies to watch.  I think I’ve also decided that I won’t be watching any more movies from the 1930’s if at all possible unless for some reason one of the names pops out at me from somewhere and I feel compelled to be utterly depressed for an afternoon.

My children have been amazing throughout this entire ordeal.  One good thing about watching movies from this time is they are a lot cleaner than they are now.  I’m not as nervous letting the kids pop in and out of the living room because the sex scenes are virtually not existent and all of the fighting or battle scenes look like a kid’s playground compared to our todays films.  They are also incredibly boring and in black and white so the kids pretty much take one look and run to somewhere else.

I don’t mind so much the movies being in black and white, I can appreciate how far we’ve come now and appreciate the time it came from.  I can now also say that I think Clark Gable was a fantastic actor, especially for his day.  It’s not a real surprise that I’ve currently watched 3 movies that won Academy Awards that he was the lead actor for.  I can however say that I don’t think that I’ll be subjecting myself to watching “Gone with the Wind” ever again and for sure will never watch “Cimarron” or any of its remakes for as long as I shall live, once was enough torture for one lifetime.

I’m excited to be getting into the 1940’s films.  There are already a few names in there that I actually recognize.  From there on I have seen a lot of the movies.  I’m going to sit through all of them and have been giving them my own personal score based on how much I actually liked it and trying to take into account of when it was made.  I will NOT however be subjecting myself through the Godfather movies again. I watched them a couple years back and can honestly say I’ll never get the hype (and usually like a good gangster flick, Sopranos was one of my favorite HBO series).

Anyhow the kids are napping so that means I know I have at least a couple hours where I will be in peace while watching my next movie. I will sign off for now and crossing my fingers that “The Great Ziegfeld” (1936) isn’t a waste of some precious me-time!

Blog or book?

Right now would be a perfect time to write in my blog, the children are fed, the hubby is home to entertain them when they drive me crazy, and I’ve got a freshly made tea and no pressing tasks that need attending.  I just can’t seem to think of anything to say.  This is quite fascinating to me as I NEVER feel like I have run out of things to talk about.

Since the New Year my mind has been blanked.  I really and truly need to find an outlet now.  I think I’m going to get busy trying to figure out my next game plan as soon as the hubby takes off for work this week.  I usually feel better when he’s around so I can participate in some face to face adult conversation daily but as soon as he leaves I sometimes go multiple days in between before seeing in person and talking to a person older than 3.  This idleness has apparently got to stop as my personality seems to be changing because my lack of stimulation. 

So now instead of coming up with anymore to say I’m going to go sit down in a corner and read a book because the children are fed, the hubby is home to entertain them when they drive me crazy, and I’ve got a freshly made tea and no pressing tasks that need attending!

Blank Slate, Blank Mind

I’ve got nothing. I’ve been sporadically walking in and out of my office and sitting in front of a blank Word document waiting for some insight to pour forth from my fingers. Still nothing.

 

Maybe 2013 is really a blank slate? During my day, usually when I’m cleaning, I come up with one or two topics that I’d like to discuss in my blog. I’ve had no topics come to mind. Maybe it’s because I’ve done minimal cleaning over the Holiday Season, or minimal anything for that matter. That’s probably the issue right there. Zero happening. I’m not sure whether I should jump for joy or be afraid.

This definitely was the first Christmas in years that I actually got to relax and enjoy. It was amazing this year because of the holiday traditions we not only enjoyed but created. We spent more time hanging out as a family than shopping in the stores. It was really great. Even though it was so much more laid back this year it still feels hard to drag myself out from the fog that usually comes in the aftermath of all the merry making and food consumption.

I’ve never been one to just sit around and get nothing accomplished. I am staring ahead at my future and realize that there are no goals, no major aspirations or nothing new that I’m working towards. I mean don’t get me wrong, I’ve got all the same resolutions that most people find themselves looking at the beginning of the year. I’d like to eat better, exercise a bit more, be a better parent, etc. Who doesn’t think these things after the holidays are spent consuming their body weight in pastries, cookies, chocolate and alcohol? After your children have also been hyped up on refined sugar and all the stimulation that the season brings?

It’s just not the same though. I ALWAYS have those goals in the back of my mind and often do things that improve upon them. I am normally used to having something else to work towards. I have been knocking around the idea that I want to start working towards a new career, which has got me completely muddled. I want to find something I’m passionate about and can see myself enjoying, but again who doesn’t? I would like to begin working on a similar project as the author in the book I’m currently reading pursued called “The Happiness Project” of one person’s journey on trying to lead a more meaningful and happy life. Once again, who doesn’t?

So here I am staring at a Word screen with words spewing out but really nothing new and exciting being said that a New Year’s post usually requires. I just heard something that stated the year to come will somewhat resemble how you spent celebrating New Year’s Eve. If that’s the case I’ll be spending a lot of time sitting on the couch watching movies with my family desperately trying to keep my eyes open. While this sounds very peaceful it doesn’t leave me much to work towards.  It’s also making it very difficult to get motivated.

I am however excited at the prospect that I can work on ANYTHING I would like. I should look at it backwards and thank my stars that my goals aren’t set for me, there is nothing laid out for me or any pressing situation that is forcing me to not work on the things I want to.  I guess as they say the world is my oyster.  Although I think oysters are disgusting, I think I’m going to change it to the world is my cheesecake.  Hmmm maybe not so good when trying to stick to the eating better resolutions, the world is my Vanilla Yogurt?  I think it needs some work.

Happy New Year’s to everyone and here’s hoping that everyone is also enjoying a blank slate in 2013!

Christmas Eve is Finally Upon Us.

Well it is now Christmas Eve for our family.  We're running a few days behind but my hubby was picked up by my brave father from the airport last night during a crazy storm we were experiencing.  Now that everyone is safe and sound we can commence our official Christmas.

Looking at the huge boxes of the kid's play kitchen and train set that needs putting together reminds me that it's going to be a very late night for us indeed.  That's if we have the ambition to do it today.  It might be a good project for the hubby and my dad to take part in tomorrow while us girls are busy working on turkey dinner with all the trimmings.  Even hopefully the littlest girl will be inspired enough by her big Christmas gift and spend it pretending to cook us a spectacular dinner in her new play kitchen.

I was feeling a little like the holiday season had already passed us by because we had already said our Merry Christmases and Happy New Years to everyone else on the actual calendar day event.  It was also spent drinking Bailey's and coffee and hanging out with the family.  It's crazy how you can feel like you've already finished the season and not opened one gift or gone through one stocking.  It's proof that the Christmas spirit is still a tangible possiblity without literally "buying" into it. However now that the hubby has returned, I am starting to get fired up in Christmas spirit mode again and am excited to watch the magic unfold for the kids. 

We are just getting ready now to go and participate in the very real and very modern day tradition of the Christmas Eve rush.  In other words we have to go out and purchase some last minute supplies and gifts that have been forgotten.  I'm really grateful this starts off my husband's 3 week stint at home and we will have the remaining few weeks to just kick back and enjoy some time together in our new home before he goes back to work.

Merry Christmas everyone from our family to yours!!

"Holidays"

Even though I'm not quite sure why they refer to this time of the year as "Holidays," I'm going to be spending actual Christmas Eve and Day at mom and dad's house with the kidlets.  Does anyone anywhere ever feel rested T'is the Season is finished? This also means I won't be posting for a couple days.  I may also be skipping a day or two after because we're celebrating our Christmas on the 29th when my husband is back from work and a day of rest under his belt.

I'm wishing everyone (all 4 of you) that read my blog regularly A Very Merry Christmas!  I will return to you soon with a mind addled with Bailey's and Coffee (I hate Egg Nog) and refined sugar products.

Love and good wishes!!

Brain Malfunction

I’m lacking anything interesting to blog about today.  In general I’m having a strange day.  It’s one of those days that I feel completely unmotivated but a bunch of stuff keeps getting accomplished.  

For instance, I was walking around my house this morning and looked down and noticed that the floor was in desperate need of vacuuming, sweeping and mopping.  I had just decided that I was not interested in any of it and then called my mom to see what she was up to for the day.  During our phone conversation I swept and mopped all the floors and as soon as I hung up I vacuumed.   I also folded the remainder of my laundry and cleaned up the breakfast dishes. 

My kids were spending most of the day making a mess of the play room upstairs and I went up there to soothe one because they apparently they need to hurt themselves 80 times an hour.  The room looked like World War 5 had hit.  I asked them to start cleaning it up because I am honestly so sick of tidying that room I was contemplating just shutting the door and not allowing them to ever set foot in it again.   Instead the next thing I knew I was finishing up putting the last toy in its place.

Then early this evening I was NOT in the mood to make dinner.  A good friend of mine sent me a text which started quite the conversation. By the time that chat came to its conclusion I had managed to whip up garlic/rosemary crusted pork chops, rice and steamed veggies. 

In finality I figured I’d come and sit at the computer to update myself on my Facebook friend’s activities for the day and procrastinate giving the kids a bath.  Here I am instead writing in my blog, which I decided earlier today I was going to take a day off from.   I guess that confirms that OCD is not just a brain disorder because whether you are motivated or not your body just takes over and does it for you.

I hope it does the same thing for the bath I’m avoiding having to give my children now before bed. 

Wrap it Up!

I can’t believe I’m actually finished prepping for Christmas this year and with days to spare.  I mean granted we’re not celebrating Christmas until the 29^th here because of my husband’s work schedule but I feel most accomplished today.

The kids and I went for a long walk early this afternoon, well not a long walk in terms of distance but when you are walking with a 2 year old and 3 year old it tends to slow things down a bit and what would normally take about 15 minutes to walk almost took 2 hours.   It was very fun to watch my daughter go to each door and deliver the neighbors Christmas cards.  Watching a child take such joy in sharing and giving is about one of the most satisfying experiences of this entire holiday season craziness.

The last chore I had to finish up with was wrapping gifts.  This is probably my least favorite job out of the festivities.  Wrapping gifts is such a strange idea.  I understand it adds to the excitement of the present but truthfully it seems ridiculous.  You spend a bunch of money on paper, bows, tape and string that just gets ripped up and tossed in the garbage.  Not to mention the billion hours it takes to try to figure out how to wrap each gift.  I’m not making it up when I say that a friend of mine on Facebook was literally sending out a plea to all the parents out there on exactly HOW you wrap up Hot Wheels cars packages.  I was ever so grateful with this post because there was in fact a really helpful answer.  One of the people who replied said that you wrap two of them together face to face.  There wasn’t an answer though for the Littlest Pet Shop toy packages that are my daughter’s request from Santa.  Trust me if you can hold off on getting your kid one of these buggers I’d avoid it at all costs.  I must have had to re-wrap it at least 10 times.  I’m not even tempting fate by putting the gifts under the tree until at least Christmas Eve, I don’t think the kids could handle themselves.

Wrapping is a very time consuming activity in normal situations but when it comes to trying to wrap them with kids in the house it becomes a sporting event.  I know that most people would suggest that I wrap these gifts at night to save myself some hassle.  I’ve actually been attempting to do so and that’s why I haven’t finished it until today.  Most of my shopping was done over a week ago and I have had good intentions to sit down every night and do all the wrapping.  My trouble is by 9:00pm (just after I put my kids to bed) I’m done.  I don’t have any fuel left in the tank.  If I’m not asleep by 9:30pm these days then I know that the morning won’t be pleasant.   I did get a few gifts wrapped one evening and half a bottle of wine consumed which resulted in a hangover (I’m very lightweight when it comes to my alcohol intake) and two presents needing to be re-wrapped.  It just doesn’t seem worth the pain. 

Today I figured I would attempt on getting the rest of the gifts done.  By taking the kids for a walk this afternoon I assumed that I could get a little bit of a reprieve from them as they would be a bit worn down.  I was wrong.  They were still as curious as to what I was up to.  They were still trying every way possible to drive me crazy.  I’ve decided that the only thing worse than wrapping gifts is trying to wrap them while keeping two curious toddlers at bay.   I didn’t even have any wine to smooth over the process.  I believe that drinking wine is never a good idea in the day when the kids are running full tilt, I feel like I have to treat my life like a potential on-call ambulance driver just in case they break their bones or worse.  People reading this might think I’m paranoid, that is unless they know my children.

None-the-less after several bribes with Christmas treats, screaming fits (on my part), drinks of milk, trips to the potty and a new Dora movie the deed was done.  I can actually say that I’m finished all the hard work of the season and plan on sitting back and having a Bailey’s and coffee or two…well as soon as my hubby returns from work so I know we have a designated emergency services driver!

Good-Bye Sentimentality

I’m worried for our generation of children.  There is a certain sentimentality that I think is going to be wiped out shortly.  As doomsday is upon us it appears that there is no fire raining from the sky but in a small way I think that people were on to something.  Not a drastic, lets pick one day to decide the end-of-all-as-we-know-it scenario but more along the lines I’m agreeing with some of the predictions that we are dawning on a new era.

I quite frankly hadn’t given it much thought up until last night.  I have been passing the tabloids off as another reason for gullible people to lose their dollars and conniving, slimy people to take them.  I mean this is coming from the girl who at the tender age of 20 years old decided to boycott Y2K and spent the night learning how to play crib instead of going to a wild party or hiding in a bunker.  What triggered my thoughts was actually an event I’d been anticipating all year.  The watching of “The Hobbit”, or I guess the first part of an inexplicable trilogy of someone else’s interpretation of “The Hobbit”.

I’m very much a truest.  Not even sure if I can use that as a word in this context but I like things to keep to their word.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m flexible to an extent, if there is just reason or cause to change things and as long as they still hit the right notes then I’m quite reasonable.  The Hobbit however last night was a mix of both.  There were some really amazing parts that made me feel like the book was coming to life before my eyes and then there were some parts that had that distinct sour taste of Hollywood oozing from them.  I’m not going to hash out the details.  There will be so many opinions either way but I do want to talk about what this means for our children.

The reason The Hobbit is so near and dear to me would be my mother’s fault.  She not only instilled the desire to have my nose stuck in a book more often than not but also the love of all things Hobbit.  When I was a little girl my mom used to read books to me.  I’m sure she read a lot of preschool books to me while I was still pooping in my pants but these aren’t the books I’m talking about.  Once I was old enough to sit still longer than 30 seconds and without filling my diaper she began to read novels to me.  We started out with stories such as “Charlotte’s Web” and "The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe" as I grew we moved into books such as “Tarzan” and “The Hobbit”.  Even though by this age I could already read these books to myself, she still took the time to bring these stories to life for me.  She would snuggle me into her bed all warm and cozy then magically began to paint the picture, she would painstakingly read each character with a different voice and patiently explain the ideas or words to me that needed explaining.  These were easily some of the best times and memories of my life.  You would be right to assume I was not only thrilled to be going to see “The Hobbit” on the big screen last night but I was able to go with my mom.

Walking away from the movie was a bit of a let-down, it was not even because the movie wasn’t exactly what I expected and I was disappointed.  It was more because I’m wondering if I’ll be able to instill any of the same sentimentality into my own kids.   

About one month ago my new babysitter had come over to hang out with the kids as a “we’d both like to know what we’re getting ourselves into visit”.  When she was leaving she was talking about having to write a paper for school and how she was going to have to do some online research before she could start.  I then realized what a different world it is out there.  I asked her if she did any research for her papers in the Library at school.  She sort of laughed and said that they had certified websites they could pull their research from but rarely looked in books.  She had never even heard of the Dewey Decimal System.  That was a huge shock to my system.  I know that I’m not young anymore but it wasn’t THAT long ago.  I know for a fact that my parents used the Dewey Decimal System and my grandparents knew what it was.  Finding out there are kids today who have never even heard of it was an eye opener.

Every single book that I hold dearly in childhood memories is now a major motion picture.  They are cartoons, video games and bed sheets.  While all of this can seem fun the world is just over accessible today.  Some of the reasons these books seemed so special was their lack of convenience.  It was possibly a book you had to take out of the library which eventually needed to be returned, it was a book read to you one chapter a night that left you longing to hear what happened next, it was the product of imagination and childhood fantasy.  Today its force fed to you through pre-views, movies, games, toys, posters on the wall, actors in the tabloids and bad re-runs.   There is no reason a person needs to use their imagination any longer because Hollywood does it for you.  My mom always said it’s important that you make a kid read a book before watching the movie.  I’d love to instill that principle but it’s going to be bloody hard to do when my kid won’t even know what the Dewey Decimal System is.  I’ll have to get them a kindle and order the books on wi-fi and sit and force them to read it before visiting their friends who bought the movie the week prior.

It makes me sad to think that there might possibly be no movie out there in 30 years that my kids will want nothing more than to go see with their mother.  Today might not be the end of the world or even day one of this new era but I believe we’re just seeing the tip of the iceberg and cannot fathom what the next several decades are going to look like.

Baby Its Snowing Outside

My little WeatherEye started flashing a lightning bolt in the bottom screen of my computer monitor last night so I had warning.   The rain and wind last night and through this morning were pretty intense but since the big rain droplets the temperature has dropped slightly and now has started to snow.  The kids are extremely excited and really want to go out and play in it but at the moment it’s not that nice fluffy play in snow.  It’s that wet gross snow that only comes when the temperature hovers at the 0 degree Celsius (or for my American friends 32 degrees Fahrenheit).  In other words my children are bored and as designated mommy it’s up to me to come up with some activities for the kids to participate in. 

This morning’s activities involved “Art Craft” as my daughter likes to call it.  We decided to paint.  I drug the supplies from the cupboard and basically just let the kids go to town all over some extra-large blank paper.  My daughter could possibly sit there all day and paint, my son however was bored after about 10 minutes.   

 I think that’s one of the toughest things about entertaining the kids right now.  Their interests are completely different, partly I assume because each kid is different but one is a boy and one a girl and then they’re different ages.  The only thing they both seem to enjoy doing at the same time is watching TV. 

The TV is such a topic of discussion these days.  Do you let your kids watch TV?  How much TV do you allow them to watch? What kind of programs do you let them watch?  Before I had children I had it in my head that I was going to be the parent that didn’t allow them to watch any more than an hour a day.  Since I’ve had kids and reality has set in that number has varied quite a bit.

Don’t get me wrong, I am attempting to ensure that they don’t spend every waking hour in front of the idiot box.  It’s tough on days like this.  I always have good intentions to utilize my time with them appropriately and try to involve them in several activities.  Then of course when we do things like painting, playing with play-dough, reading books, doing house chores one of them has to be uncooperative.  The only way I get 10 minutes of peace and quiet is to put on the TV and let them zone out while I finish cleaning up after whatever activity it is we just participated in.

We have a giant playroom in the bonus room above the garage.  When I was a kid if I had an area like this that I could run to, that had all my toys and allowed me to use my imagination as much as possible I probably would have lived in it.  My son is very much like me.  He loves going up there and will spend hours driving his cars around the room or his train in circles around the figure 8 wooden track set.  My daughter however spends every waking moment in the room trying to workout plots of getting out of the room and under my feet.   I thought I would solve this problem by allowing my daughter to paint at the table and my son to play in the room.  That of course backfired immediately.  It also turns out when you have a 2 year old and 3 year old you must be accessible to each of them 24/7 and immediately.  No sooner did I get my daughter set up with the paints then my son started to cry in the play room.  I then left my daughter to her own devices as I went to go investigate the tears which turned out to be a minor scratch on his hand and wounded ego which was easily remedied with a kiss and cuddle.  When I went back to see what my dangerously quiet daughter was up to I discovered a mess that would rival The Chernobyl Disaster and then my son began to cry again. 

So there you have it; two kids not capable of doing the same thing or doing anything separately unless you count watching TV.  Playing outside would be another great option but since it’s still really crappy weather out there that might not be for a couple days. 

***********************************************************************************

I'd like to take this moment to add to the above.  My dad just stopped in for a visit.  I was talking with him about our dilemma about me not being able to entertain the kids without going completely insane.  He came up with a brilliant solution.  Why not bring the toy train set downstairs and let my son play where I can see him while my daughter paints?  My dad's a genius.  Next time I get enough energy to pull out the paints and other activities that he gets bored of immediately I'm going to do just that.  I'll let you know how it goes.

 

 

Christmas Tradition In Need!!

I have a beef.  I am NOT impressed.  This is serious.

Christmas is being taken advantage of.   Along with all the extra activities; shopping, baking, cooking, cleaning, gift wrapping, photo taking, party going, concert watching, house decorating we are also subjected to a new form of torture.  Really really bad Christmas movies!

As an adult without children you might not notice this influx of horrendous viewing entertainment, you have the option of switching the channel to something less barfy.  However, with children, you usually end up giving in to watching Treehouse or Disney Jr. instead of watching something cool like Dexter or Downton Abbey.  I spent an agonizing 93 minutes getting stuck watching a movie about a talking reindeer called “Blizzard” the night before last.  We originally turned it on because it was directed by LeVar Burton.  For those of my readers who are NOT geeks, he played the character Geordi  La Forge off of the Star Trek Next Generation Series.  He was also responsible for Reading Rainbow (a show I loved as a kid).  Anyhow when I was looking at the info available through my satellite provider while browsing movies I thought we’d give it a shot.  Within about 20 seconds I knew I had made a mistake; but NO I couldn’t pick a new movie.  Apparently 20 seconds is all it takes before your 2 and 3 year old children are hooked and you are now trapped.

I had decided it would be fun to watch one Christmas movie with my kids per night as a sort of lead up to the actual day.  I unfortunately am thinking that I should have stuck to something more fun, something like jumping in my frozen lake or cleaning the grout in my kitchen tiles with a toothbrush.  I am totally interested in starting our own brand of Christmas traditions but I’m pretty sure that this isn’t going to be it.

It’s funny what we perceive as a bad Christmas movie.  When we were kids there were quite a few movies that came out each year and because we didn’t have DVD’s or I guess it would be the VHS recordings of these films, you had to make sure you were watching them when they were airing.  Last year, when looking for stocking stuffers, I came across a trio pack of DVD’s that had some of the Christmas classics that I remembered from my childhood and we bought them.  They were the “Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer,” “Santa Claus is Coming to Town,” and “Frosty the Snowman,” animated films all from the 60’s.  This year when we were decorating the tree I came across these movies in one of my many Rubbermaid Christmas totes.  After we were finished our decorating I stuck them into the player to watch them.  My husband was disgusted.  He was looking at the screen with an unpleasantly confused look on his face and asked “Why the hell are we watching this?”  I was stunned.  I could not believe that he had never seen these films.  From an objective point of view they are pretty terrible.  It’s however with glossed over sentimentality that these movies are amazing.  I sat and watched them thinking they were brilliant.  I think I’m going to have to make it my mission to ensure that “Blizzard” doesn’t get put on that reminiscence list for my own kids. 

With that being said “How the Grinch Stole Christmas,” “A Christmas Story,” and “A Charlie Brown Christmas,” need to be played again and again, year after year.  My husband wants to have a few picks too.  I know he’s already listed one that I’m not so sure I’m ready for; “Home Alone.”  There are two reasons that I’m not quite sure this is a good idea.  For one, I don’t think it’s really a good idea to implant any unnecessary ideas into their heads at this age.  The second is because there are 4 sequels to the movie.   There is even a new one coming out this year.  All of these second, third, fourth and yes fifth versions of the movie look beyond terrible.  It might be a landslide I cannot dam once it’s started. 

For now I’ll stick to the safe movies and work on coming up with a new family custom.  Maybe if I give the kids their own toothbrushes they can help me with the grout?? 

Short and Motivated

Well I just spent the past two days at my parent's house. I love that every once and awhile I can just pack up the kids and go visit for a couple days. It feels like I'm going on holidays when I'm over there, maybe because for nearly 15 years I wasn't at my parents’ house unless I was on vacation.

It was also nice to avoid the inevitable task of cleaning up my house.  I know it has to be done and I know that I can’t stand it NOT being done.  Although rare, once and awhile my lack of motivation wins over my OCD and I just can’t bring myself to the task (usually during my monthly Mother Nature hostile take-over).  This morning I found myself feeling a bit better, a bit more refreshed and after having some help with the progeny I was ready to get home and swab the decks.

Therefore this is a short blub but not due to laziness, quite the opposite.  It’s because I have the inclination to get my house to acceptable standards and I should harness the feeling while it stays with me.

Discretion of a Parent

Brace yourselves this is going to be a long one!

Two unrelated events have happened in the past 24 hours that have led me to writing about this today.  I have to admit the topic has been floating around the back of my mind for quite some time.  It comes up every once and awhile so it feels right to bring it to fruition.  First I’ll briefly describe the events and then I’ll say my piece.

I might as well talk about the event that I don’t really want to bring up because it will make me look a little foolish.  I really don’t like looking foolish (yeah, who does, right?) so I’ll get it over and done with first.  It happened at my daughter’s preschool this morning.  Every Tuesday and Thursday I bring my daughter in for her classes.  There are 3 week periods that I have to bring my son along for the ride with me because my hubby is out of town.  It should be no big deal, I know that all over the world mom’s tote around younger siblings to these events all the time and everything is peachy, right?  Wrong.  My son is awful when going to my daughter’s school.  I can’t even blame him for being a weirdo because I feel so bad for the little tyke.  Since we packed up and moved across the country to a brand new area and a new life we don’t have any connections.  Therefore the only interaction that my kids get with other kids is through my daughter’s preschool and just recently both kids have started a once per week gymnastics program.  So as you can see very limited friends for the kids to play with.

When I take my daughter into her school there is a quick drop off and pick-up period.  I’m usually in and out of the building in less than 3 minutes.  That is unless I bring my son in with me.  The first three weeks I brought him in and out with me.  It was torture for the both of us (and I’m sure anyone within earshot, I think I may have mentioned in the past that my son’s scream rivals any girl’s).  You see there are about 3 other daycares that run in the same building as my daughter’s preschool.  They ask us to keep our kids all contained in the boot area, which is located in a huge gymnasium.  Usually the gym has dozens of screaming laughing kids that are playing with a tantalizing assortment of toys.  My son always wants to desperately to play in the big ride- inside-cars.  When I stop him and he discovers that he’s not allowed to go and play with the other kids he lays down on the ground and does the funky chicken.  You parents know the kind of temper tantrum I mean.  Laying on the ground, flailing all appendages and screaming like a banshee.  Even when you pick him up in this stage he just flops over and acts like a rag doll, but a really really HEAVY rag doll.  With him in tow it takes me roughly 15 minutes to try to get my daughter in or out of her gear all while trying to contain him.  Not very fun for anyone, except for the moms who have “angel children” they can gloat as I am trying to hold down Lucifer.

So after a brief discussion with both my husband and parents in trying to problem solve this issue someone suggested that I just leave him in the van, with our German Shepherd and the doors locked for the brief time it takes.  I was a little hesitant but remember vividly several times waiting in the car by myself as my parents did some short outings and nothing remotely bad ever happened.  We currently live in a pretty quiet town and the school is in an even quieter neighborhood.  I figured then it should be ok.  I’ve been lucky enough not to have to do it too often.  When my husband is home then it’s a non-issue, if my mom stays the night or another adult comes for the ride then again a non-issue.  I’ve found it extremely helpful when my son falls asleep when we go to pick my daughter up from school as he hates being woken up too early from his nap.  That was the exact same scenario this morning.  My son was passed out in the car seat and I went in to grab my daughter.  I was in line for  a little over one minute waiting for the class door open to retrieve my kid when one of the preschool teachers popped out of the room and came up to me and whispered that I had to go out and get my son immediately.  I ran out there expecting him to be crying or something to have happened.  The only infraction I could see in progress was that my dog was sitting on the front seat of my van barking for me to come back.  My son was still out like a light and nothing else indicating any disaster. 

When I returned into the school with my really miserable and tired son in tow I was a little confused but pretty sure that I was about to get a talking to.  I knew it was frowned upon but II however did not realize that it was law that you are not allowed to leave your children under 12 in the vehicle for any amount of time if it is not fully in your sight.  I would never leave my children in the car alone to go shopping or to do my banking or really any task where I didn’t feel 100% sure they would be ok.  The teachers were really apologetic.  They claimed that one of the daycare workers had reported it to them and they didn’t want me to get in trouble.  The main teacher said that it is now law and they had to put a protocol forth stating what they do in these situations.  I assured them it wouldn’t happen again but walked away a little ego bruised (I hate being in trouble) but more so upset thinking that I made a mistake and started to question my parenting.

Ok so scenario number two.  While scrolling through my newsfeed on Facebook I came across a picture of a cover of a magazine I just recently saw while grocery shopping this week.  It’s one of those tabloid crap magazines, National Enquirer.  I’ve seen very similar covers to these magazines prior to this date, they’re the ones with pictures of movie stars not looking their best.  The headline is “More than 40 Best and Worst Beach Bodies,” WORST being the largest and most obvious word.  Attached to this picture on Facebook was a letter written by a school teacher admonishing Loblaws, a company that claims to be so community involved, for selling this magazine as it’s one of the most obvious forms of bullying.  The letter was quite well written; I agreed with its subject and thought some of the same exact things when I saw the magazine in person myself not 4 days earlier so I shared it to my page.  I’d like to point out that I’m not normally a “sharing” type of person.  I really use Facebook as a tool of communicating with friends and keeping in touch with family.  I’m not one to play games, like the 10 Billion sayings, try to save the world, or try to make a statement.  I find some of the stuff mildly entertaining and like to sit and relax during a quiet moment to catch up on any recent news with my acquaintances. 

The next day I got a surprising comment under my shared post from a person I have quite a lot of respect for.  This person usually provides some good argument, even though we don’t always see eye to eye, but none the less he can normally come up with valid reasons for supporting his argument.   I was really only surprised because it didn’t seem like a thing he’d normally comment on.  In his comment he stated

“...Teach your kids to respect themselves and fluffy magazines & bullying will be less of an issue… I just get sick of everyone's attitude when it comes to parenting..."the world will raise my kids while I'm shopping for cocoa puffs and checking my twitter." 

I left some of his comment out but he made valid points about Loblaws selling themselves by claiming to be community orientated but how they also turn a profit off of said magazines, so they’re not going to stop and that’s just business. I want to point out it came across as a little harsh at first but it’s not totally what he meant  which he said in his next round of comments. He summarized by saying

 “...I'd love to i see this garbage done away with as well… As long as people are buying this rubbish, they'll sell it. I just think a lot of people reading that post will say "yeah, it's your fault my kids are bullying /getting bullied" and pass it off as something they can't control. The Blame Others mentality is rampant within our selfish society.” 

I’d like to point out that he did not once imply that my husband and I were negligent; in fact he said we were great parents. 

This is what got me to thinking.  Two seemingly unrelated subjects now brought together a point for me. 

This tabloid magazine made me sad when I spied it myself last week.  I thought wow I’ll never be able to protect my daughter from society or from herself through those years.  She’s going to have to go through it all on her own to get to this point.   Being the most amazing parent isn't going to make your children immune to peer pressure and self image issues.  You see my parents were also great parents.  My mom is about the least bothered by peer pressure person I know.  Sure she is not totally immune, she’s still polite when it’s needed and doesn’t go out in public dressed in rags but she really doesn’t put a lot of precedence of what other people are thinking or doing and doesn’t need the latest and greatest fad to make her feel fantastic.  Even having my mom as my mentor and guide throughout high school all her values and teachings were barely heeded as I was going through my own teenage hell.   It took me quite some time to be comfortable in my own skin.  I am fairly practical about it now but society still plays a role in how I parent and how I think. 

 I spent over a year trying to toilet train my daughter.  I tried every trick of the trade, worked my ass off trying to accomplish this one task, NOTHING worked. After just one day in her preschool, after just one short 3 hour stint of peer pressure she buckled.  She began without another incident using the toilet consistently every day after.  Yes I realized that this time it worked to my advantage (and hers) this but I know that it won’t always work in our favor. We can pretend that society ISN'T going to play some role in raising our children but that would be foolish. Why do you wear certain types of clothing? Why do you buy a certain brand of shoes or even decorate your belongings with logo stickers of specific companies? It's a status thing. You might not be continuously worried about self-image but you have still been somewhat "parented" by society.

I have been thinking about other ways that society is parenting not only our children but ourselves.  I am not condoning my actions today or trying to defend leaving my son in the car.  I’ve re-evaluated the situation and I know in my heart of hearts that if something bad ever happened to my son when there was something I could have done to prevent it I would have been devastated.  My hubby assures me I wasn’t putting him in harm’s way at all and that I shouldn’t beat myself up about it; but it never hurts to self-reflect.   What really confuses me and I’ve done a bit of research since being home today, I also found out they condone a child being alone in the house unsupervised at 10 years old in the province of Nova Scotia as long as the parents feels the child is mature enough and is safe but can also be charged by law under the governments discretion if they feel the child doesn’t meet this criteria. That’s a double edged sword.  It’s ok to leave them at home if you think the kid is mature enough unless the government doesn’t; sounds shady to me.  Then you have to wait until the child is 12 to leave them in the car, is the car so much more dangerous than the home?  Who comes up with these ages and who’s discretion are we talking about?

I am concerned that the laws are starting to make it so parent’s hands are tied behind their backs when it comes to raising your children.  There are laws being put in place so it will be illegal to spank your children.  I 100% am against abuse but a swat to the butt to remind a child where their boundaries are is a tried and true method of discipline.  I don’t care what the books say, I always thought twice about doing anything too bad because I knew it would end up with a hand whacked on my backside.  Kids today don’t seem to know their place anymore and parents are afraid to be parents.  How many screaming kids do we see in Supermarket aisles today compared to when we were children or when our parents were children and everyone had a ton of kids (Baby Boomers)?  I don’t even want to get started about giving children awards for just participating in events and not winning, what does that teach them about real life?  Absolutely NOTHING.

There are laws about whether or not you can marry the same sex, maybe not in Canada anymore but there are still several people that hold true to this belief that it’s evil.  This was one of the main topics of discussion in the current USA Presidential Election (and don’t tell me that just because it’s a different country doesn’t mean it doesn’t hold influence on us in Canada at all).  How can something be evil if it’s not harming other people?  People are still fighting this issue so adamantly.  If consenting adults choose to smoke marijuana which doesn’t result in hurting anyone else or put others at risk then why is it illegal when cigarettes and alcohol are not?  I just found out that it’s illegal to hunt on a Sunday in Nova Scotia…I mean really?  I get that some people are religious but a law???  Talk about government putting morals onto people that are not shared by everyone. 

The letter attached to the magazine cover picture was just asking for some accountability from Loblaws. Of course they are profiting and using it as a marketing advantage but if you're going to talk the talk people are going to expect you walk the walk. I may not be standing on the local grocery store steps with pitch forks and knives but I have seen how one small action can create a landslide. If I can add a little here and there to something that holds my beliefs then I'm going to state it. Like I said I don't share things often on my page and this one caught my eye.

What is parenting?  I think it’s the teaching of your morals and how to stand up for yourself and beliefs, giving tools to use as a guide through life, providing for physically and mentally.  I’m not sure how to do that in today’s society.  Do I teach them my morals or teach them the morals society has put in for me and made law, even if I don’t believe in them?  What tools do I use to do this if all the tools I’ve been taught have been taken from me?   It’s not enough to just put a roof over their head or nourish their bodies or spend every pay cheque earned for their comfort.  It’s not enough to sacrifice every waking moment to their happiness or their well-being.   Maybe they can write us a book, tell us exactly what we should do to parent our kids in every situation so we don’t have any say anymore.  Who needs discretion of the parents when the government can do it for you? 

I bet they would allow the sales of the crap magazines because they probably line the right pockets with valuable cash.   Even if a parent doesn’t agree with my point of view and everything I’ve written in my blog screams to them I’m an awful parent and I should just follow the laws as they are written because they are sound and just.  I understand that there are several good laws that are there to protect our children but where do you draw the line?  What if the pages were turned and it was me writing these laws.  Would you not like a say on how to parent your own children in your own way?  Maybe it’s time to start a landslide?